The Tortoise and The Dare | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 117

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Critical Role

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This episode is sponsored by D&D Beyond! Check out Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything on D&D Beyond now at
This episode is also sponsored by Dungeon Craft! Check out the Hell and Highwater terrain books from Dungeon Craft at
Hard choices await the Mighty Nein, who must decide whether to follow the current path of their former friend or deviate and forge a new one...
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Flando Maltrizian
Flando Maltrizian Måned siden
HEY, there might be some SPOILERS under the thing 0:50 A normal ad 5:10 WAKE ME UP INSIDE 6:35 Laura’s merch corner (most merch gets sold out by showtime) 8:55 Laura is a wrap god 10:25 Intro cinematic 12:00 Episode Starts 14:50 Recap Ends 19:00 Meeting the Nonagon 28:30 These hands 44:40 How do you get tattoos? 46:40 Am I on speaker? 49:05 In unison 55:45 Beau was right 58:00 Divine 8-ball 59:10 Notagon 1:02:10 Spoilers for campaign 1: Nine betrayer gods 1:04:10 Threshold crests 1:04:40 Old magic 1:10:45 Naruto run 1:11:30 Jester and Beau 1:13:55 Never become a spider 1:14:25 Bye 1:17:50 Yasha will eat Caleb 1:22:40 The river 1:25:50 They argue for the next 10 minutes (it’s a good argument, it’s over at 1:36:05) 1:27:40 Question marks aren’t important 1:29:05 Caleb, what do you think of this metaphor 1:36:05 Good ideas start happening 1:36:45 Veth invents phones 1:38:40 Day 5 (Marisha ruins everything) 1:43:55 Beau puts her hand in a zombie’s mouth 1:48:55 A scryed conversation 1:54:55 Gretchin, the pie making cat 1:55:40 Fjord and Jester 1:58:25 Beau’s target practice 2:02:10 Metagaming pigeon conversations 2:03:15 Messaging Kotho about Sabien 2:05:15 Race you to the top 2:06:30 The stink is on the inside 2:07:35 Fact check: weasels mostly eat meat 2:09:30 These cats have had it 2:10:30 Undead Sprinkle 2:12:35 I guess we trust Dagen now 2:16:40 They’ve ruined this man’s life 2:20:35 Dagen is still having fun with it 2:27:00 No plan 2:28:10 Jester gives a tarot reading 2:30:35 Jester says such stupid things 2:33:10 Messaging Essik 2:34:45 You always run into people you know in Eiselcross 2:37:30 Pies of nine 2:39:30 Caleb talks to Astrid 2:40:30 Cat cuddle 2:41:25 Break Starts 2:46:05 Art Montage 2:59:30 Break Ends (Taking care of Dagen) 3:01:45 Johan, the breakfast cat (also the union cat) 3:03:00 Chicken-making blue people 3:03:50 Preview of the animated series 3:04:30 Travis forgets how things work 3:06:25 Jester needs to focus during messages 3:11:00 Day 7 (Getting peded) 3:13:35 Dune (2021) 3:15:50 Map out (Matt makes a sound that I would not have thought possible) 3:20:45 Veth is not standing still, she is lying in wait (wait, wait) 3:26:45 Imagine the green 3:36:35 Fjord gets bit 3:39:15 Making my way to the worm 3:41:50 Choosing animals 3:44:55 Sam has never read a DnD book before, he’s not about to start 3:47:50 Abusing a tortoise 3:51:15 Turtle violence 3:54:25 This stamp is dedicated to everyone who said “TPK” in the Twitch chat 3:57:40 Tiny turtle 4:00:40 Um, actually Beau would take an attack of opportunity as she left the turtle 4:07:10 Divine intervention 4:15:50 Episode Ends The in-game start date for the episode was the 17th of Brussendar 836. Sam’s flask has the letter “I” on it, nine times. The back says “Mighty Nien” with eyes replacing the I’s. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I’m thankful for this show and this cast. I’m thankful for Rachel Romero, the SVP of Marketing, who was so nice and welcoming at C2E2 and made me feel proud to be a small part of all this. I’m thankful to Surena Marie, who is the Marketing and Community Manager, who takes time out of her Mondays to help me make these posts easier for me and better for you. And I’m thankful for all of you, for helping me put one foot in front of the other in a year where it would have been easy to stop. Stay safe, eat well, and always believe tomorrow will be better. Any moments I missed? Feel free to post them here. Is it Thursday yet?
Muumis 29 dager siden
2:11:06 beau says to yasha " that bug I had in your bed wasn't too bad " am I really the only one who noticed?
Carolyn S.
Carolyn S. Måned siden
Thank you for any and all mentions of Mercer's cat role play moments
jash51772 Måned siden
@personpeoplepeopleperson s that and i imagine his shoutout thanking the cr staff for helping make it easier and better is a big part of it too lol
wee wee
wee wee Måned siden
Aharon Bruinink
Aharon Bruinink Måned siden
@iceman3317that makes sense :p
Valkross 88
Valkross 88 23 minutter siden
Minor point. In this episode we established sprinkle eats rabbit. Jester turned the worm into a rabbit. Eh? Need I say more? XD
PhoenixHacker 8 timer siden
Everyone is giving Jester shit for feeding Sprinkle nuts when that's exactly what they prefer to eat according to Jester's research in the library.
HalfTangible 12 timer siden
Beau: Expositor of the Cobalt Soul, tasked with the discovery and keeping of ancient knowledge and forbidden lore, a fighter that uses intelligence in conjunction with physical and spiritual training to hone the body into a perfect weapon for both combat and analysis. Also Beau: "I'ma stick my hand down this undead's throat to get the shiny!"
Addy 0302
Addy 0302 Dag siden
3:15:55 Sound effect replay button
Sockoiid 3 dager siden
TIL Nonagon is Nagato (Pain)
Cinnamon Roll
Cinnamon Roll 3 dager siden
You can tell travis does not do that many notes when kotho was only a few pages back.
Cinnamon Roll
Cinnamon Roll 3 dager siden
tbh i think dagen is the inner monologue of matt commenting on the bullshitting the party does, and im here for it.
jennifer greene
jennifer greene 3 dager siden
would self inflicted damage break polymorph? just imagining that bunny taking a full run into a log :L
jennifer greene
jennifer greene Dag siden
@PhoenixHacker aww I just started campaign one 😅 I think I can guess who it is since I had no idea they were even in the party, damn
PhoenixHacker Dag siden
"The transformation lasts for the duration, or until the target drops to 0 hit points or dies." Yeah. A character in campaign one famously dies after polymorphing into a goldfish while diving off a cliff.
Ackage 4 dager siden
"Is that a metaphor?" It is now
Some Guy
Some Guy 5 dager siden
Can someone tell me why this "ashley" sounds like ellie from TLOU... also why does mercer sound like Macready from FO4
Archie The RedCat
Archie The RedCat 6 dager siden
I cry when Yasha give the clover back to Molly, and when Beau and jester talking about Molly, its so saddd
Michael Sarkisian
Michael Sarkisian 6 dager siden
Levitate says when the spell ends, you gently float down. Just as a note
Country_Gnomes 6 dager siden
Hearing and seeing Molly again breaks my heart in so many ways. After his death, I believed he was still there. He was dead but still watching over the group from wherever he was. He was there and him and caring. But now... he's really gone. He's never coming back and I hate it so much.
Jen K
Jen K 7 dager siden
In this episode of Critical Role, Beau insists her plan is the only one that makes sense and any other option is stupid. Wow. Who could have seen this coming? I am shocked, shocked I say.
Daniel Ribeiro
Daniel Ribeiro 8 dager siden
Beware the Rabbit of Caerbannog
Demonic Judgment
Demonic Judgment 8 dager siden
Kenzie Pie
Kenzie Pie 9 dager siden
Worm comes out of the ground. Me* " It's an ALASKAN BULL WORM!!!"
Lord Moa
Lord Moa 10 dager siden
Fight idea: the Mighty Nein purges Caleb's mansion of the revolting workers union of cats
Michael Howell
Michael Howell 10 dager siden
The fight with Vokodo, both fights with Avantika, the final fight with the Shepherds, the fight with the dragon in the Happy Fun Ball... this fight tops them all. 😂
Fitbrit88 10 dager siden
Talesins outfit is totally off the heezy in this episode
Juliana Flowers
Juliana Flowers 10 dager siden
3:44:00 Okay. Touche, Liam. Matt is decent enough not to call BULLSHIT on his friend, but he knows. Just look at his face! But then....ohh Marisha! Second-guessing your already frustrated DM hubby? Oh noes. "Just then from behind the nearest slope you hear a 2nd eruption occur, and you watch as a spray of jagged ice and snow explodes upward to cascade over your frigid form! Another, even larger worm (this time with legendary resistance) emerges from the white storm into the fray, and lunges for you!" Seriously, though. I truly feel for Matt. However, my players are angels...for the most part, so they rarely invoke the wrath mwhahahaha! :p
Juliana Flowers
Juliana Flowers 10 dager siden
Oh Matt, lol that was some thinly veiled DM BS that just happened to work out, because no matter what they rolled Fjord was the target. 3:37:43 As if he just realized *wink wink - "Wait, you have Star Razor up don't you?" Puhhleaseee! Every DM worth her salt just gave you a nod :)
Mikenrad 11 dager siden
poor matt never gets to enjoy his monsters for more than a round or two.. hes really gotta start using some adds with his big monsters to soak up some attention.
Ase Garcia
Ase Garcia 11 dager siden
Thanks, thanks, THANKS for that awesome Monty Python and the Holy Grail moment with the rabbit xDDDD
Cussundria Kneal
Cussundria Kneal 13 dager siden
2:27:00 I have been reminded of my old ship, Molly and Caleb. And seeing Talisen's little smirk as Jester pointed out the card looked like Caleb, just-- ACK, MAH HEART! I truly, honestly believe Talisen was going to try and romance the depressed and awkward wizard. Dx
Kaspar Lakin
Kaspar Lakin 14 dager siden
Honestly wouldn't even surprise me to find out that matt lounges around at home in that robe in character as gilmore
Henry Armstrong
Henry Armstrong 15 dager siden
*Caleb in that bedroom* Totally blasted Astrid.
roger plourde
roger plourde 15 dager siden
enlarge has a concentration ?
omicrontheta1 15 dager siden
What if they put the turtle in the bag of holding?
Jexious 15 dager siden
The combat at the end of this episode had me in tears.
runevox 16 dager siden
a summary of this episode is: -accidentally tell their icelands tour guide that the government official they were protecting got fucking murdered and that they are currently carrying her corpse -had to convince him that they didn't slaughter her and that it was actually the people they had just followed into ancient magical ruins and come out with and are now continuing to follow -ended up erasing his memory of the whole event anyways -got in a fight with a giant fucking ice worm that immediately stunned all of them except the blue tiefling cleric who is stupid and dumb -blue tiefling cleric turned the giant ice worm into a snow bunny with polymorph so that it couldn't hurt anyone -giant ice worm: bunny edition proceeded to walk over to british orc seaman (sounds like semen) who is the one character that does dmg to whoever hits him automatically and hit him, causing it to take one damage (which just happens to be a snow bunny's max hp) and revert to being a giant ice worm -blue tiefling idiot turns giant ice worm into a turtle and flips it on its back -homeless magic man who burned his family to death covers giant ice worm: turtle edition in snow -giant ice worm: turtle edition rolls really high on its athletics check to escape the snow and attacks blue tiefling idiot. she moved her leg and he misses because he is a turtle. -large lesbian goth with big sword picks up turtle and moves it to a frozen lake. puts it on its back and spins it, making it incapable of escaping the infinite upside down icy spin cycle and probably breaking some animal cruelty laws. -homeless magic man shrinks the turtle, causing it to spin even faster. -two lesbians and blue tiefling idiot observe the turtle spinning (so enthralling)
Alex Archambault
Alex Archambault 16 dager siden
Joyce Amaral
Joyce Amaral 17 dager siden
The fae cat union is the big bad of the campaign
Chris White
Chris White 17 dager siden
Loving it! Keep up the great content!
Frivolithé 17 dager siden
I'm sure the assembly is flush with wish spells though, right? Or Essek? He owes them
Frivolithé 17 dager siden
The DM taking notes that he just made up where Sabian is is sending me
Duchess 118
Duchess 118 18 dager siden
Hears the turtle convo and wonders when Matt will just buy a 3d Printer lol make his own miniatures.
rk9sbpro83 18 dager siden
"I can just drop the Spirit Guardians" You mean the spirit guardians that would have been dropped already by casting another concentration spell like polymorph? Crazy how that works.
StatusLARP 18 dager siden
I LOVE how into it Matt is at 1:37:15 as Daron/Daroon/Daaron/Dairon xD Really made it hard to focus on the conversation, just because it was too good not to look at!
Morbidity100 18 dager siden
He’s making a spaceship
Black knight1000
Black knight1000 19 dager siden
jesus fuck Taliesin created PAIN!
OldOneTooth 19 dager siden
Missed opportunity to turn into an eagle and drop the tortoise on luciens bald head.
APEGantz 19 dager siden
Yeah.. Sprinkle wont die until Jester possibly dies. Sprinkle mind as well me a God of Nature at this point.
cJonah 19 dager siden
Maybe spoilies. The 9 are the little boy in the Cat Prince story, and Lucien is the cat.
canniloni 20 dager siden
i'm 15 minutes into the episode and i just realized MATT ISNT WEARING HIS WRISTBANDS the pandemic has truly ruined us all, nothing is right in the world
Sarah Bazos
Sarah Bazos 20 dager siden
3:15:55 I LOVE the sound Matt makes for the monster :0 SO COOL
T1J 21 dag siden
at the beginning, i was like, oh i get the title, because it's kind of a race between the two parties. then i watched a little more
Tyler Mcrae
Tyler Mcrae 13 dager siden
If you were surprised, imagine how the worm must feel.
Cal Davis
Cal Davis 19 dager siden
Yoo love your content and love that you watch critical role! Legends supporting legends
Jeremy Yates
Jeremy Yates 22 dager siden
anybody else just picturing yasha pulling a mario. you know when you eat a mushroom, grow, immediately get hit, and then shrink again.
Taylor Hemphill
Taylor Hemphill 22 dager siden
I don't know why the dont revive Ves. She knows a lot and could be a good ally.
Cheryl Brown
Cheryl Brown 22 dager siden
Can someone who is better at the internet than me tell me where Talisen got his blazer from?????
CaptNightmare 23 dager siden
Nott was more fun before.
sarah psuedonym
sarah psuedonym 23 dager siden
bruh if molly was a soul fragment then Lucien would probably remember M9. I think a consecrated soul got slapped in there and said "empty" because it wasn't a new body, but an empty one
Mave Rick
Mave Rick 23 dager siden
Jester pulls The Magician in Reverse: Talison: *smirks* Me who is learning how to read tarot: oh that makes sense
tontoldoos 23 dager siden
thumbs up for sam's d&d advert
Nathaniel Dumas
Nathaniel Dumas 23 dager siden
I just realized Caduceus doesn’t use Spiritual Weapon.
Davis Hatler
Davis Hatler 24 dager siden
The fact that he flipped over the flake of glitter is the best ever
Spyke114 24 dager siden
2:07:40 ish: According to Googs, "Weasels' diets usually consist of rats, mice, voles and rabbits. Frogs, birds and bird eggs are also on the menu, from time to time. Their small, thin bodies allow them to squeeze into tight spots to reach small prey." For anyone curious like I was. Things they apparently don't usually eat: Nuts, berries, pastries
Lindsey 24 dager siden
CAN they resurrect Derogna?
Breezey TFU194
Breezey TFU194 24 dager siden
Ah yes the spectral f**kfest that was Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion. Good Times.
Tobi Zerker
Tobi Zerker 24 dager siden
3:36 fjord is now in re:zero
Melissa 25 dager siden
This group has not ever really been the murder hobos you hear about in these sort of sessions. The minute something seems off about their attackers. They kind of halt as best they can without getting killed themselves
Lauren Hawes
Lauren Hawes 25 dager siden
*Lucien and Cree watching the tortoise fight* Cree: *So this is what you did for 6 months* Lucien: *fierce staring while dying inside*
Cat Blue
Cat Blue 25 dager siden
2:26:00 You mean your potential boyfriend Essek? 😉😉
Andrew Miller
Andrew Miller 26 dager siden
Matt was so happy stunning the whole party. Then came a turtle polymorph to ruin all his plans 😂
Christian Taylor
Christian Taylor 26 dager siden
3:15:55 Matt just harnessed his inner Dee Bradley Baker.
Bryan 27 dager siden
Every time I hear “Nonagon”, I have a feeling Matt listened to Nonagon Infinity by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard a few too many times.
ninjack11 27 dager siden
the, all but 1 character fail their con save to Jester mangeing to polymorph the worm to fjord rolling a nat 20 for it to attack him to him having star raiser deal 1 damage turning it back was so good
801Logos 27 dager siden
I cannot believe laura wasnt laughing when matt was describing the giant white/pink 1 eyed worm
Ricky 27 dager siden
I really want to know if Marisha is ever just chilling at home and from a different room hears Matt just making strange noises as he practises the sounds for different creatures.
Ricky 27 dager siden
Ricky 27 dager siden
Matt is so smug at 1:30:00-ish. Everybody arguing about the A? exactly as he planned
Spencer Knutson
Spencer Knutson 27 dager siden
I'm not 100% caught up but has anyone hinted that maybe the 9 eyes of Lucien maybe connected to the 3 monsters from the Ukatoa timeline? Didnt they each have 3 main eyes?
Cal Burns
Cal Burns 27 dager siden
Capers?! Caleb!
Caelen McMillan
Caelen McMillan 28 dager siden
3:15:40 Laura Bailey is trying to keep her s**t together when the giant, armored, pinkish red, one-eyed monster burst from the group ... What Laura? What else could it be?
Tyger Royal
Tyger Royal 28 dager siden
PixelSage 28 dager siden
Travis always looks like he is in a combination of awe and fear when Laura does things lmao
Nik Nak
Nik Nak 28 dager siden
3:15:54 Matthew Mercer what the fresh flying FUCK was that noise???
WereDictionary 28 dager siden
Sometimes I wonder how Ashley manages to stay this deadpan...
Revan 7even
Revan 7even 29 dager siden
2:19:19 Yeah, they're officially the worst group he, his children, and his grandchildren has ever and will ever run with.
Muumis 29 dager siden
2:11:06 beau says to yasha " that bug I had in your bed wasn't too bad " am I really the only one who noticed?
Sparrzors 29 dager siden
Truly, the most sadistic thing the Mighty Nein has ever done is in this episode. Watching a poor defenseless Giant worm turtle thingy, spinning helplessly on its back on ice...Monsters, all of them. Honestly, this was one of the best encounters!
Wayne Weibel
Wayne Weibel 29 dager siden
The Worm Sound! The Worm Sound! ... holy shit Matthew Mercer
Mr. Veydin
Mr. Veydin 29 dager siden
2:37:52 Rhubourbon
Mr. Veydin
Mr. Veydin 29 dager siden
2:12:35 Domino effect left to right as the bottom row realizes they messed Dagen's life up.
Amber Price
Amber Price Måned siden
Every time Matthew has to role play a cat gives me life.
nobody _
nobody _ Måned siden
It was really weird hearing one of them say my dead name,,, I was very startled akdkfkgkdkkss
Rachel Guderjahn
Rachel Guderjahn Måned siden
*laughs* i am imagining that last hour of the show being animated into one loooooong drawn out cartoon scream moment. Aaaaaaaaaaa-AAAAAAA-aaaaaaa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Rachel Guderjahn
Rachel Guderjahn Måned siden
It ebs and flows as the beats hit. Mild spoiler.... With poor jester trying to get the situation under control.
Kevin Chase
Kevin Chase Måned siden
Is anyone else still interested and wondering about Caduceus' home forest. I know he sent his family back with the crystals but I really want to know if the corruption is still there or has it been dealt with?
No. 12
No. 12 Måned siden
They deffo need to weaponize this polymorphe... Jester - Polymorph Caleb - Fly * Titan bomb enemies from up high * - AOT S4 -
korniuni Måned siden
honestly i cant handle when they call lucien molly.. it makes me wanna cryyyy, like matt just at start is like "molly turns his head" and im now honestly wrecked dont do that shit im gonna fall apart
korniuni Måned siden
aAAAAAAAA its just all of this conversation i Cannot Do THIS
Mark Rajca
Mark Rajca Måned siden
I'm conflicted about the ethics of this cat harem.
niels voorburg
niels voorburg Måned siden
I love Ashley’s reactions from 1:59:45 onward
MoltenFlames17 Måned siden
3:27:30 is the timestamp you are looking for.
Jake Cuevas
Jake Cuevas Måned siden
Step 1) Turn massive enemy worm into turtle Step 2) make a teleportation circle Step 3) throw turtle into circle Step 4) profit
Maxpowers224444 Måned siden
"I step up behind him and shove the sword in the back of his neck." Lmao!
Dean Oberg
Dean Oberg Måned siden
I imagine having your name butchered by Mathew Mercer is a dream only few will achieve
GatrickProh Måned siden
So Fjord holy sword grenade the bunny. Checks out.
rat Måned siden
Love that this weasel survives longer than molly and has been through more torture
The Winged Porpoise
The Winged Porpoise Måned siden
Tortoise in the title Me: poor Fjord
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